Endings and Beginnings

 

We think that a New Year, our artificial numbering of the orbits of the sun since the possible birth of a son of a god plus a couple of days, is significant. That we have to stay up until midnight (in our time zone?) to "see it in." Our mayor has ordered that bars and restaurants cut it short for a 10:30p.m. curfew as COVID-19 surges in our community. The state has sued the city for trying to enforce this order. 

There are real events in time, birth and death, and sunrise and sunset. A year and its seasons. But we arbitrarily label them to give us a sense of control and order. So tomorrow is no different than today. Except that it's time to worry about taxes. To wind up our bookkeeping. To write a different number at the end of the thing we call a date. We try to wrap it up in the media with lists of deaths, lists of bests, etc.

The COVID-19 Pandemic does not respect your new calendar or planner. It surges on. And that has made me realize, more than ever, that there are no magic dates or deadlines except the natural ones. 

Since the pandemic we often drive somewhere and walk around outside, keeping away from people. We have walked in a cemetery a few miles away quite a bit. In the photo, FFP (my husband) looks at the simple headstones for his parents. The space to his right is ours. There isn't room for two coffins (no double stacking here, unlike where my parents are buried). We will allegedly be cremated and placed there. We have talked during the last months of isolation about buying a marker. But, perhaps, we won't even have one. 

There isn't much real significance to the day of your death. We arbitrarily assign it based on our system. My mother's day of death was August 28, 2002. August 28 was her younger sister's birthday. We cling to significance, though. I once read a book on probability that said that the chance a person died in the quarter after their birthday was much higher than the 1/4 you might expect. As if people wanted to and in some cases did will themselves to pass that marker. 

We don't age by years, though. We age by bits and drabs and tiny insults. We give the arrival of a new year an artificial power. Whereas the actual day of birth and death are significant events, their anniversaries are not, really, except in our brains. 

I am not religious, but my parents were. I put this bible verse on my dad's obituary. 

"A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth." Ecclesiastes 7:1

While we celebrate anniversaries of days and the flipping of the calendar, anniversaries are our arbitrary triggers of memory. 

I've Never Really Like the End of the Year

 

The holidays are fun and all, usually, but you have to bend over backward to do everything and worry about the year-end stuff. We paid our property taxes today. (Online.) Oooof. Since we have this little business we have all sorts of year-end tax things to worry about between that and the personal stuff. I always worried about getting gifts for people (when I did that and I did at least for the parents when they were still alive). This year there are no parties with great food and decoration and booze to relieve the dread of year-end. We used to walk around downtown and look at all the window displays and hotel decorations, but this year it doesn't seem worth the risk of wandering through a hotel lobby to see a giant nutcracker.

Usually, we go to the performance of the "Nutcracker" that Ballet Austin does at the Long Center but this year we watched it online (a recording from last year). We almost always go on Christmas Eve to the Armadillo Christmas Bazaar and see Christine Albert and Chris Gage. It's canceled this year.

We aren't big celebrants of New Year's Eve but we usually do something with other people. That's my husband and two of our good gal friends at one of our clubs for a low-key dinner to celebrate.

So it seems the end of the year is drained of everything but starting to worry about taxes and winding up the year. At least we don't have to take the Required Minimum Distribution from our IRAs. Thanks CARES act. And we don't have any elderly parents left to worry over. We have food and shelter and it's certainly a time to realize that not everyone does.

Promises and Plans

I like to think that I am one to keep my promises. Even those that I make to myself. I decided a few weeks ago that I should do Holidailies. And here I am on this blog. (Which hasn't been updated since the end of that last Holidailies.) I thought I might kick off writing a few days before the writing and posting to the portal began. But, no.

I have been suffering great swaths of procrastination. I will tell myself that I will get organized, do some writing, do some cleaning as soon as I (pick one)

• take a nap
• read and discard the pile of newspapers that's built up around my chair
• take a walk
• make some travel and social arrangements
• go out somewhere to eat or listen to music or visit a museum

I make lists. On scraps of paper. And neatly organized on my computer. But. I don't get to everything on them. The key things get done: banking, bill paying, organizing the calendar. Then it's back to the list above.

Fortunately, I have taken care of Christmas. I sent money to my close relatives in Colorado. Crass, but done. My husband and I decided that we would each get a little bedside lamp we saw at the MOMA design store when we were in New York. He wanted a sport coat and picked a perfect one on sale for Black Friday at his favorite store. We are each getting a paper calendar. He already got a three month up one that helps organize his column writing. I'll get a French page-a-day at the local independent bookstore. (As I tear the sheets off, I'll scribble 'to do' lists on the back!) I may get him a surprise. I may get one. Christmas, done and dusted. I have, in the past, bought gifts (actual wrapped and delivered things) for SO many people. Not any longer. Feels good.

Also, while procrastinating about a lot on many fronts, I have, fortunately maybe, organized three of four trips we will take in 2020 as far as planes and hotels. I still have to review all that, put the confirmations in folders and put all the details on the family calendar.

I'm better at getting things done when I make myself a specific promise. Like writing something here every day. And then there are deadlines. Like all the tax deadlines that are looming now that December 1 is here. Time really gets away from me!

It's Almost Over

A few hours until 2019. One more posting day for Holidailies. Soon the (mostly) bendable posable collection of Christmas figures will be packed away. The leaf for the dining room table (expanded for the puzzle) will be returned to its tucked in position. I've already stuck the unsent holiday cards in the closet. I sent 94 and got 50 according to my records. I will be tossing some I received in the trash or recycling. I'll save a few beauties to put out again next year. The tiny tree and its tiny ornaments and tiny fake packages will be packed away. Ditto the Nutcracker figures.

Will I ever drag this stuff out again? One doesn't know what will happen in the next 300 plus days.

I got up on this last day of 2018 and drank a bunch of coffee. I had to fool around with the satellite TV box because it had crashed or something. It finally came back to life. It hadn't recorded a Showtime show we wanted to watch completely so I spent a few minutes figuring out how to get Showtime on the Roku. Technology overwhelms me these days! Yes, I was 'in the business.' But I've been retired for 16 years. We watched the show we wanted to see which aired yesterday and I worked the NY Times puzzles. FFP sauteed some chicken and we made chicken tacos. I tidied up a little in the kitchen. I took pictures of all the Christmas decor. It's funny how many pictures we take now that it's digital. And how many are on our phones these days.

I made a card for my tennis buddy who will be 88 years old this week. Yep. Eight-eight. I need to do something for her birthday. Think I'll take some bagels to the courts on Thursday. I usually organize a luncheon. I've been too lazy to do it this year. If I were going to make a resolution this year, it would be that I wouldn't take anything too seriously. It's all motion. Goals realized are not much more important at the end of the day than goals abandoned. Clean things get dirty. Things break and wear out. We pass, too.

Tonight we will have dinner and get home hours before the new year. We will probably doze in our chairs reading all those 'year-in-review' lists in the papers. Tomorrow I'll check in with the blog. Holidailies will end. And, maybe my blogging will end for now. Or forever.

All is Merry and Calm

We are here, surrounded by books and Christmas figures. Since early this morning we've been listening to Christmas jazz on radio stations over the Internet. I've finished numerous cups of coffee. I put up the last cards we got before Christmas and checked my database. I sent 94 cards and received 45. (From people. I don't count businesses and non-profits.) Didn't send to all families I received from. Didn't receive from all I sent (obviously). I've read a bunch of today's newspapers. And prior days, too.

I didn't buy a single gift save bottles of wine taken to hosts of parties. Unless you count the books I 'let' my husband (FFP) buy. (I also got a couple in this exchange. And I bought myself a French page a day calendar from Amazon.) I used to buy scores of gifts, from the ridiculous to the (maybe) sublime. And wrap or package them. I miss it a little. But not much. I got a couple of packages from my niece in Colorado. One had gourmet cheese, crackers, and sausage. One had a puzzle and some homemade macaroons. (My favorite cookie.) She said she got the puzzle secondhand although it was still shrink wrapped. (I like that. My family has, in the past, had secondhand or homemade Christmas. It was fun.)

We've had a relaxing day. I worked puzzles in the papers. We ate brunch: banana 'pancakes' (they are actually just bananas and eggs mixed up and grilled) with maple syrup, chicken sausage, and Bloody Marys. I didn't fall asleep after the alcohol but FFP did.

All day I checked my phone for text messages or Facebook posts...me and lots of other people marking the holiday with current or vintage pictures of Christmas celebrations. My niece sent texts of pictures of her boys and their gift exchange.

I can already feel the month-end, quarter-end and year-end tasks hanging low over my head. Taxes make this time of year have a bit of a cloud.

We have a few more holiday events. A Boxing Day party tomorrow. We are having a friend who has never seen the movie 'Giant' over on Thursday to watch it and it's iconic Christmas scene. I'm meeting girlfriends for our annual holiday get-together this Friday. On Saturday we are going to a Holiday Pops concert. New Year's Eve is an early dinner at a club with a couple of girlfriends then home to avoid late revelers.

And so it goes. I try to enjoy the time to read and think. But things hang over my head. Must do a bit of straightening and dusting and vacuuming before having that friend over, too.

The Nutcracker

Since we (especially FFP) have been involved with Ballet Austin for about twenty years we now have a tradition of seeing their production of "The Nutcracker" each year. It's very festive what with the party scene, the snow scene and the music that screams Christmas because it's on every other car and jewelry commercial (and, really, is delightful music). FFP saw many of the productions from the wings in his years as a VIP Mother Ginger wrangler.

The picture above is from 2005 and is Karen Kuykendall dressing up as a VIP Mother Ginger. (May this Austin Legend rest in peace.) New costumes were purchased a few years ago so the costume has changed. Tonight FFP will don the new costume and ride the skirt portion on stage, propelled by stagehands and with children dressed as bonbons lurking underneath. The bonbons will emerge, he will try to upstage them with his 'moves' (but their proud relatives in the audience will ignore him) and he will be wheeled off. He's done a turn on the skirt twice before (albeit with the old costume). During his VIP wrangling days, one didn't show up, pressing him into service when I wasn't there. One time he did it in a dress rehearsal for some reason. Anyway, I'll be there for his triumph tonight with some good friends. The ballet and the music and all the little kids in the production and in the audience in their Christmas outfits will make it seem like Christmas. Won't it? He is sitting on the other side of the office now watching people do moves on the skirt.

Oops...where did yesterday go?

I'd like to tell you that I missed posting yesterday because my holiday cards came in the mail. That would be a lie although they did come. I only sent out two yesterday to 'reply' to a couple of the ones I received. No, yesterday, was a day so cold and rainy that I didn't go out. (FFP went to an interview, two grocery stores, the deli downstairs and the dry cleaner four blocks away.) I tried for most of the day to conquer the newspapers threatening the place with a hoarders license. I didn't clearly win that either. Onward. I'll try to post again today. Holidailies ought to be daily after all!

Holiday Cards

That's it. A 4x6 print printed for pennies online, a collage of travel and eating and drinking. And the most positive sentiment I could muster.If someone sends me something in the mail, I'll send one of these back in a cheap Office Max envelope with 'Happy Holidays' written in red ink on the flap perhaps. I'll send a few people one without being prompted by receiving one from them.

I miss it, really. The many cards. When half weren't from a business or charity. I like the letters summing up the year. The pictures of the kids growing up. Or just the funny animals and Santas and tree and snow. But we send and receive less and less every year. I miss all the stamps and postmarks. I miss the hours spent updating the database and thinking of all the people, mourning a little the ones who had recently left us.

But change comes to everything. It's surprising anyone clings to tradition. I have only sent commercially purchased cards one year. We have made elaborate pieces some years, one year I handmade each one from canceled holiday stamps, I am often surprised to find some old ones in the closet. "Wow," I'll say, "I forgot we did that."

The years run away and the holiday card was a way to put a pin in each one and remember it.

Holiday Resolutions...Results are In!

Above: the sum total of our Christmas decorations with the tiny tree dwarfed by our presents to each other. (If you don't count our display of holiday cards.)

Before Holidailies began I made some Holiday Resolutions in this space. So it's time to review them now that the holidays are drawing to a close. See? Another great thing about holiday resolutions (as opposed to New Year's ones) is that the results are in soon enough. A year is too long a time to give yourself. I can sit here today (a rainy New Year's Day with temperatures in the 40's at best) and review them and be done and dusted of resolutions.

So here's my assessment based on the promises made in the above link:

• I have steered clear of the malls, the big box stores, etc. I probably need a trip to Costco some time after January 10 or so to stock up on cheese and some paper goods. And maybe even pick up a new gadget or two. (Or not.) In all honesty I don't really usually shop malls and big box stores. Make resolutions you can keep I say.
• We shopped independent stores. FFP bought me a couple of great books at Book People, the large independent book store that is a short walk from us. (They are in the package above before the Christmas Eve unwrapping.) I have started to dip into both of them: "Invictus" by John Carlin and "When Paris Went Dark" by Ronald Rosbottom. Both going to be great reads.I bought him a tie. I know, trite. However. I bought it at an independent clothing store downtown. I walked over there. AND I bought it off a mannequin in the window. FFP admired it one day when we were walking by. And I remembered. It was the only one they had exactly like that. He liked it and spent a bunch of time matching it to shirts and jackets. He loves clothes. We also shopped at his favorite store, an independent clothing store not far but not walkable, where he got a new suit, a new leather jacket and we both got new belts. He bought some sweaters at a chain store but at least it was one he could walk to! He bought a new hat (the kind golfers and hip musicians wear) at Goorin Brothers and while it's a national brand they are a very old (100+ years plus) hat maker. They have a single Texas store on South Congress. And yes, we walked there. We bought more books at South Congress Books as gifts to ourselves. This is a regular stop on one of our walks. I got two catalogs form Lance Letsher shows at a French gallery for myself. While I sort of gave in on the decorations (see below and above) we did shop for the tiny tree and its 'ornaments' at Toy Joy, a short walk over on Second Street from our apartment. So yeah we were jolly elves to ourselves but shopped pretty much independent and in the 'hood. We also bought libations for friends at Austin Wine Merchant, a great wine and liquor store in our neighborhood. (We can, in fact, walk to five or six liquor stores and several more places where wine and beer is available.)
• I forgave myself for the crass gift of money to relatives. In point of fact I ended up purchasing some actual gifts as well and sending to my great nephews. However, my niece gave me quite specific directions. (Next year I'm going to buy a Lego toy for myself and put it together over the holidays. Maybe.)
• I refrained from anything resembling a Santa or Elf Costume. I did wear my ancient red blazer to several parties. As festive as I got. How old is it? Well, I'm not sure, but it's probably twenty years old. When people complimented me on it, I said it was vintage but that I bought it when it was new! 
• I did not cook a turkey or a ham. I graciously ate the (pre-cooked) one our Thanksgiving hosts provided. I did cook up some sausages and bacon in the microwave, (something I almost never do) as special holiday breakfast treats.
• I spent not one iota of interest on the arguments over religion during the holiday. I noticed, with some amusement, that a nativity scene was place at the Capitol briefly and some believers in separation of church and state were offended. I was offended by nothing anyone did and enjoyed all the jolly trees and people's celebrations of Christmas and Hanukkah on facebook. We were not invited to the Winter Solstice party. We used to get invited but I guess we were not good enough guests. Or pagan enough. In any case, it was one more night that we had to ourselves to enjoy our calm holiday.
• I didn't decorate too much. FFP wanted a tree so we bought the one above and added tiny bats, flamingos, etc to decorate it. Got it at ToyJoy as mentioned above. I didn't drag out my bendable, posable holiday collection and other decorations from the depths of my storage cage. The one Santa above got left out after the last Christmas the bendable guys were up here. The several ornaments around him are ones we received over the holidays.
• I thoroughly enjoyed the decorations of others. There are several examples on our Austin Daily Photo blog. People go to so much trouble and I enjoy it. We didn't go driving around to look at lights, however.
• We ate at several great restaurants and enjoyed parties. We even gave a dinner party for an (early) New Year's Eve dinner. We tried out a new restaurant and went to some tried and true ones, too. Didn't do Threadgill's (or any other place) on actual Christmas Day. Stayed in and had whatever we pleased from a stocked frig. 
• We did see some movies. Well, one at the theater around the corner (Violet Crown) which was "Foxcatcher." Good but disturbing movie. We watched a DVD of "Gone with the Wind" and one of "Jezebel" and also watched the Christmas scene and a few others from "Giant."
• We enjoyed the parties. Even though we didn't give a party we treated a couple of people to dinners and hosted a small party in a restaurant early on NYE as mentioned above. Maybe next year I'll give a party but probably not. The ones we attended were outstanding. Our dinner party was flawless with great conversation from very interesting guests.

Now that was simple wasn't it? Holiday or New Year's...I think the secret to resolutions is making ones you can certainly keep!

Lastly, for this holiday wrap-up, I bring you my assessment of the ritual holiday cards. As mentioned here I did not send cards this year but rather replied to the ones I received. But only the ones that were from individuals (not businesses or Realtors or brokers or charities). In the end I received two from people I could not remember knowing including two copies of one of them. FFP remembered being asked a favor by one of them. Didn't reply to those either. How could you write a personal note to someone you can't remember anything about? I also did not reply to one from one half of a couple who divorced. Didn't have it in me to write a note.

So...we received 22 cards from businesses, charities, brokers, etc. I got 56 from individuals who made the cut to reply to although two were from relatives that I had actually sent cards to before Thanksgiving with Christmas money in them. A lot of them were simple matte or glossy cards with family pictures. Some included those letters summing up the year in some fashion. One was only said letter but it was illustrated. Some were simply seasonal art or photos. There were snow scenes, snowmen, a Matisse chapel cut out card, the three wise men, doves, dogs, cats, ornaments, owls, Santas, wreaths, penguins, snowflakes, trees, birds, A few wrote a substantial personal note in actual handwriting expressing more or less heartfelt desires to see us in person or wish us well. I sent 57 cards including the three preemptive ones to relatives. (Two later sent me one and one had a form letter describing the year and another had a picture of the kid and a hand-written thanks for the money. One just sent a thank you, I think.) So I have a stack of paper and cardboard with glitter drifting from some of them. I'll keep them for a bit and then they will hit the trash or recycling bin. I'll save a few pictures. All in all, I enjoyed them and I've given the Matisse one a place of honor on my shelf.

Endings. And this ends Holidailies, too. Hope you enjoyed it. I have. But now I have one less duty of a morning and can do some other tasks around here. Or, you know, sit in my chair and stare dreamily out the window.

Where's the Spirit?

West Sixth Street Shop Window Reflection

The Visible Woman...opines.

This time of year was filled with glee when I was a kid. Even if Christmas didn't always bring all the things I hoped for (and it usually didn't given the money my parents had) it brought this precious time off from school. Mom taught school from the time I was ten or so and she would be off from work, too. We would see relatives. We would wrap packages and anticipate. We'd sing carols. My sister and I may have even devised our own live nativity or other production. My grandmother's homemade rolls and cinnamon rolls and her giblet gravy can make my mouth water from the distance of many years. I especially liked the time when we were eating leftovers and the table was cleared for a board game (or a card or domino game) or a jigsaw puzzle. I'd wake up each morning of the school break feeling the great anticipation of another lazy day playing with new things or reading a book or playing with friends or family.

I didn't pay much attention to the impending new year as a kid. 

After college there wasn't as much time off but there was always a day or two. We kept the excitement, my mom and I, with visits from my young nieces and my cousins' kids. I had a little money since I had a job and I enjoyed buying many, many gifts. At least one year I tried for a gift for every kid we'd see and my cousins were, at that time, in their child-bearing years. 

The after Christmas time became even more fun. I enjoyed the steaming cups of coffee (I became a coffee drinker in college) and the leftover pie around the table playing games or putting together a giant jigsaw puzzle. 

I didn't pay much attention to the new year that loomed. I'd forget the date on the checks for a while. I'd file my ultra simple tax return. EZ form? Probably. Maybe I'd find a New Year's Eve celebration.

My mom has been dead for eleven years and her love of Christmas is fading from my mind. Although I do remember one Christmas Eve. My sister was visiting with the two little nieces. My cousin and his wife were coming over for Christmas with three little ones. She made me arrange Santa Claus gifts. She sent me to Sears at the mall on Christmas Eve to get a new needle for her sewing machine because she was stitching up stockings for each person with their name on them. I believe I drove the little ones around to see Christmas lights while Santa did his thing. If Mom were still around I'm betting she'd make us get in the spirit of the day, kids or no kids. Some wrapped presents, some decor, a puzzle or game.

Now I'm older. There are no young kids in my family nearby. I rely on my nieces in Colorado and my sister to create Christmas excitement for their kids. Cousins' children are grown and some have kids but I don't see them. Their grandparents, my cousins, are hopefully getting involved in those celebrations like our parents did. Hopefully the jigsaw puzzle and non-video games are part of it. And I don't know if I'd be up for that chaos. We will have a Christmas dinner with some friends who have the wife's parents and sister in for the holidays. We'll probably watch sports and eat and drink too much. I've already unwrapped my present from Forrest because he wanted to be sure I liked it. (It's a small collage object by Lance Letscher. A book. I do like it.) He just asked when we could open our presents. But only he still has one to open. One of our old family traditions is giving hints about presents. I told him his present was two things and one he could use today and one he couldn't. The present is a nice umbrella and a muffler. It's cold today (thirties) here but no rain forecast. 

And now Christmas brings the depressing thought of the New Year. My taxes are complicated. I owe tax forms right away to the government for business stuff and to people I've provided with mortgages. The arduous process of collecting things for our own 1040 begins. And, honestly, another year has disappeared? I haven't learned enough, written enough, I haven't organized my life enough. I haven't traveled to all those places I'm interested in seeing. Door shuts on the year and on possibilities for me. Oh sure one can hopefully make New Year's resolutions and see the new year as this wonderful stream of time to accomplish things. I've done that. See here. Or going back really far: here or here are some I made for other people, for society at large. I'm sure there are old paper journals with scrawled promises to myself in the archives, too. But the hope is pretty much extinguished now. Time marches on and you just hope you'll be in the parade and glad to be there.

Follow the Rules!

Whoa! I was just looking at Holidailies and wait, wait...am I supposed to post 32 times??

I'm such a rule follower. I feel compelled to post with another 'stolen' shop window reflection image and tell you that I ate like a queen last night. (And drank like one, too.)

For NYE we got dressed up a little after eight, walked a few blocks, and went to a secluded romantic dining room. (Jezebel, tucked away inside the Bar Mirabeau on Sixth Street.) After eating and drinking some great adult beverages, we walked back to the apartment in the rain. Rain! We needed it. We had our umbrellas. Young people stood in lines to get in various venues, most without umbrellas. Safely home, we dosed through midnight and I was rudely awakened by someone setting off (illegally) fireworks nearby later.

Yesterday was a day of feeling closed in by life's circumstances. News of a cousin's husband's death reached me. The phone discussions with other relatives brought other tales of time catching up to all. I worked through some of the end of year and end of quarter and end of month duties including getting two forms with checks ready to mail to the IRS. I worked on other preparation for tax time as did Forrest. There is a feeling with me on New Year's Eve not of a new start the next day but of having run out of time in the year.

Today we stayed abed rather late. Although holidays are not that different than other days for us since we retired we sometimes adopt the attitude of the rest of the world and sleep in a bit and lounge around in our sweats until noon. (OK, we do this on workdays occasionally, too.) I ate so much last night I thought I'd never eat again but I did indeed, consuming a bowl of black-eyed peas and some cheese and crackers.

We watched part of the Rose Bowl Parade. I worked the NY Times puzzles. The crossword was in honor of the Emancipation Proclamation but also managed to include the word 'dementia' which struck me as funny because every time I complete a puzzle I'm doing a little brain dance to prove that I haven't succumbed to it.

We were invited to an open house last night which we didn't make because of some of the above phone calls and the dismal weather and the fact that we'd have to drive there (but could walk to dinner later). We were invited to one today, too, and we made this one, toting a bottle of wine for the party-giver.

It was an Open House and we were on the early end of it. We talked and got a got tour of the guy's place in another downtown condo building. We'd never been in these, and enjoyed another perspective. He had all kinds of food that he was pulling out: shrimp in cocktail sauce, sausage balls, cheese, ham, black-eyed pea salad and cornbread. A few more people came. When we finally left I'd had a tour of the art on the walls, we'd had a lot of linking discussions. I'd eaten too much and had a little wine. We walked to Book People which was crowded with people taking advantage of their big 20% off sale. But we didn't buy anything. Too many books at home that need reading. I'm still reading the one I got for Christmas and I'm still reading a book I bought in Sag Harbor in the summer. (I've been reading it by the bedside, a few pages at a time.) There are piles more I need to read.

So we are home getting ready for an evening in front of the TV. Drinking coffee. Watching DVDs instead of football. I haven't done anything real useful today. But. It's a holiday.

So, now...this is really the end of Holidailies, right? Bye for now.

Seasons Greetings, Postal Division

I almost never opt out of the mailing of physical missives to people during the holidays. I think I did in 2010, an odd and distressing fall just didn't give me an opening for such things. 

I'm not religious. I've come to think of the New Year coming along as just a more intense month and quarter end for taxes and forms and such.

 But I do think it's a great thing to trot out our list and send something physical to people. See if the thing gets returned by the P.O. and you've lost track of someone. (This happened once this year so far but the address was perfect. Resent and it didn't come back.) Maybe include a little note for people that you infrequently (or never) connect with via email or social media or, whoa, 'in person.' 

This year I took a professional shot I'd purchased from a photographer with us and our building and some of the other skyline behind us, had Snapfish print it with "Season's Greetings from our backyard. Forrest and Linda." I ordered a couple of hundred, with envelopes. As of today (the day after Christmas) I have prepared  89 cards. Some I sent after receiving one from another party. Some I sent one day and, in a sort of mind meld, got one from those folks the next day. I have received, as of Christmas Eve, 57 cards for people and 15 from organizations or businesses. 

I used various 'forever' stamps with patriotic images but a lot of people used Christmas stamps.

Of course, we received cartoon animals (always at least one cat). We got various sort of not really holiday cards with swan or boat or deco design or reference to Mayan Apocalypse.

And we got our share of traditional themes and even some religious ones.

There were plenty of personalized ones with pictures of people with their kids or just pictures of the kids, some with elaborate multi-picture chronicles. Some included pets or obvious future children in baby bumps.

And a couple were just pix of the dog part of the family.

A number included elaborate recounting of 2012, often illustrated. I managed to read most of these to be end.

I'm sure we will receive a few more in the coming week. And I'll mail a few more, too. And then I'll start to wonder if I should do it next year. I've thought of saving the ones I received and making collages on blank cards next year. Or going back to a really mechanized approach with no hand-written notes, pre-printed labels, rubber stamped return addresses. This year I hand-addressed them and hand-wrote the return addresses. I used (and verified and corrected entries in) a database with 626 entries some of whom I'd never send a card to and a few of whom I don't remember who they are. I usually have to delete a few entries (or remove one name) this time of year to acknowledge deaths. Haven't had any break-ups (that I know of) lately but that happens, too.
It seems to be a lot of wasted effort in this era of electronic things, but still I go on and so do many others. For me, it's always a diminishing return in shear numbers (I send more than I receive) but there is a positive psychic return. And in the 'you just never know category' someone I once exchanged cards with but who is now just a facebook acquaintance from the past, found one of our cards from 28 years ago and published it on my timeline. So, I leave you, dear readers with this old sentiment from a time when these dogs were alive and we wore strange glasses: "Have a Warm and Cuddly 2013!"

A Mere Reflection of Cheer

After two Blood Marys and much chatter at the Headliners mid-day Christmas party yesterday I snapped this picture in the foyer mirror while FFP ushered some people into the elevator as we were leaving. Yes I have on a red blazer. It is twenty (or thirty?) years old. I liked the bright red ball display in the foyer. The decoration here at our house is still confined to one little bendable Santa perched among the holiday cards we've received.

We went to another party last night. It didn't make me more cheerful although there were gas log fires, many stockings hung by the chimneys with care, an enormous live tree and Christmas music and people sporting the most outrageous Christmas sweaters.

It's not that I'm not cheerful. I'm just not especially cheerful. The season is not pumping me up.

The highlight of my day yesterday might have been an e-mail I noticed on my iPhone on the way to that second party notifying me that this entry was selected as a"Best of Holidailies "by a distinguished panel of readers" that  "has been reviewing all entries posted to the Holidailies portal."

As you may know, dear reader, I've been posting every day because the Holidailies portal was set up this year to urge participants to do so. My friends Chip and Jette are behind this activity. They are assisted by the panel of readers. There are 97 full-blown participants (registering each post with the portal) and there are more who just registered a link to their journal, er blog. I thought writing in this blog form (know as online journal or diary in the olden days of the Internet) would be good for me. A gift for myself if not for the readers.

But it's not a contest, right? It's not about seeing a number by your name that is close to the number of days of Holidailies. It's not about getting a 'best of.' No. No. It's about writing. Pixels to screen. Words. Sentences. Paragraphs. Leading to the people reading and getting some value perhaps. Or leading to self knowledge. It's about editing a picture for each day and wondering why you like the distance and opacity of reflection pictures so much.

Still... acknowledgement cheers me a little. Someone read about the great gifts my parents (well, Mom mostly) gave me. They thought about it. And said, "Hmmm. Interesting. Good even. Maybe 'Best of'."

And so I add the 22nd entry in this Holidailies. There it is: "Welcome to Day 22 of Holidailies" and by my name as soon as I register it the number 22. One of thousands of this antiquated thing called an online journal entry.

The Weather Outside...

Well it's not that frightful. This is a window at the local Brooks Brothers store, I think, shot back in November. In any case, we did get some cool weather although last night I walked several miles with just a sweater and leather jacket and a muffler. It wasn't windy and didn't feel that cold. And, of course, no snow.

We are going to a 'bad Christmas sweater and karaoke' party tonight. I don't have a bad sweater. I'll wear some funny pins if I can find them. I will not sing. Even if they do mean for the karaoke to be bad as well.

I bought two bottles of champagne and two of Rye whiskey today. They are just 'thank you' gifts for hosts and some other folks. I wouldn't call them Christmas presents. I may try to sneak out for a surprise for FFP tomorrow. Or not.

Some would say I'm not 'in the spirit.' But I've been having the spirits. I had two Bloody Marys at lunch. I had two really nice glasses of wine last night. It's possible I will drink every day right through and including Christmas.

At least I haven't said Bah Humbug. Until now. I just did.

But, no. Really. It's fine. Let's celebrate. And rejoice. And such. Or, you do it and I'll toast you for it.

Decorations of Red

This photo was taken back in November at the annual Settlement Home Garage Sale. They always have a huge selection of Christmas stuff.

In our apartment there are no decorations save the few holiday cards we have received and one lonely bendable posable Santa. (One year I brought all his friends out of storage and he got left behind when they were returned.)

No one will be coming around here looking for decoration. We are not having a party. We haven't even invited anyone here for a drink. (We've got a few dates at restaurants and parties to attend.) I'd have to get busy and dust and vacuum to have serious company.

As the song says: "Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree won't be the same without you here with me." I'm not sure who would need to show up to put me in a decorating mode. But I'm pretty sure my enthusiasm for it all died with my mom ten years ago. Here is a picture I posted four years ago, taken in 1978, that shows her working on a homemade decoration. Mom unabashedly loved Christmas and you couldn't help yourself...you were drug along.

Missed Deadline

Yes, I'm doing Holidailies. It's been almost forty-eight hours since I posted. Not exactly 'daily.' I thought about it yesterday. I edited this picture yesterday to use it. I thought about writing something last night. But I didn't. Is there a twelve step program for being a blogging laggard?

Of course, it doesn't matter. I can even achieve the badge of honor on Holidailies (the maximum number by your name) by squeezing in some entries that are not quite twenty-four hours apart. (Or that used to work on the old Holidailies.) And, really, the whole thing is an exercise. It's important to go through the motions in life but you can always cheat a little bit, huh?

When we were taking pictures of the holiday windows in NYC, I was surprised to see that this one still had someone touching up the icicles blocking the elegantly-dressed mannequin in the winter wonderland. But things don't always get done on time, do they? Some things are critical, some aren't. In my world, if I get to my agreed on appointments on time, there is always another day to do chores and such, it seems. If you are lucky. There are bills that need to be paid on time and holiday cards will look silly after the 15th of January I suppose. There are consequences. I've sent about twenty cards so far, I think. Trying to at least keep up with returning the favor on the ones I receive.

Certainly work posed many, many more deadlines. When I worked for a living. Over ten years ago.

But. My life is not devoid of deadlines. The most dreaded ones loom: tax deadlines. I hate taxes. I hate paying them, of course. But I also hate the mounds of paper and the incomprehensible forms (even though my CPA figures out what boxes things go in). Congress and the President are currently contemplating unknown changes that will doubtless not only complicate things further, but throw several monkey wrenches in how we planned to fund our retirement. It makes this old lady weary. I believe the uncertainty is, itself, affecting the economy. It certainly affects my spending and giving to charities and plans for the future. All the looming tax deadlines almost spoil the festive holiday feeling. (That and the winter allergy attacks from 'cedar fever' triggered by pollinating mountain juniper.)

But here's a Holidailies entry. There's that done.

Festive Me

The 'Visible' Woman, you see, is a bit of a joke. I like to hide in reflections, opaque images and, if I'm honest, writing that obfuscates and complicates rather than reveals.

This year I'm only festive in reflections like this one. I'll be brushing the glitter off my hands from your cards (actually who sends those now? especially the ones with glitter?) and putting a Santa hat on in reflection only (at Top Drawer Thrift). I'll be looking at your lights and trees, drinking your booze. Oh, I may cook up a jazzy seasonal music play list to listen to on the iPod and I'll post seasonal pictures. But, honestly, I'm not doing festive this year. There was a time when I decorated the house, however idiosyncratically. That was when we had a house. And even a year or two when I had a Christmas party at that house. There were years I gave scores of gifts to relatives, friends and co-workers.

There will be presents for party hosts and my in-laws. That's it. Oh, I sent money to Colorado for the kiddies, but that hardly counts.

So, yeah, as Holidailies kicks off don't count on me to conjure up the smell of cider and cookies or to advise on roasting a turkey. I may, rather, be talking about my strange 2010 of travel and adventure, death and diagnosis, healing and milestones and, of course, downsizing. Downsizing is a favorite topic of mine and a time when you have to decommission an abode is ripe for downsizing tales.

Stay tuned, if you will, for the Visible Woman type of reflection. But, in any case, enjoy the writing that the Holidailies portal offers.

Something about the Season

Detail from Black and Blue Christmas Shop Window at Black Mail on South Congress.

We all have fond memories of holidays. Special times, special meals, special presents. I talked to my niece yesterday and she said her older boys were very happy because they got 'almost everything' on their (admittedly short) lists. They told her they would have to write their 'thank you' notes. She always prints pictures of them playing and they write something to us far away gift-givers.

But sometimes things happen that make the holidays a difficult time for memories. My cousin's wife lost her sister Christmas night after a car crash caused by a drunk driver earlier in the week. It will be hard not to remember that when subsequent holidays come around.

Christmas 2001 was my mother's last. In fact, she was hospitalized right before Christmas but they missed diagnosing her cancer then and it went untreated another five months. I see her in my mind looking game for celebration in her Santa wear but looking, frankly, ill. Sometimes this shoves aside memories of her, vigorous in her celebration, like the year she whipped up personalized stockings for all of us including my sister's kids and three kids of my cousin's. I had to make a trip to Sears on Christmas Eve for a sewing machine needle. Yeah, that last Christmas, fighting an unknown foe, shoves aside images of her gamely making homemade decoration, getting down on the floor to play with kids and then grand kids, cooking enormous meals for a dozen or more people in her small house.

This Christmas weighed on me, too. Dad perhaps recovering but with a pretty unknown future. We had a welcome visit from my aunt, my dad's youngest sister, and her husband. They were at loose ends because for many years they visited another sister of his in West Texas. But she died in February.

Life goes and on and around holidays things happen just the same as other days. My mother died in August. On her sister's birthday. I had to call and tell her sister that day. She had the same birthday as her brother, too. But he was already gone. I don't remember when he died. But maybe his children do and it colors a certain time of the year.

I just watched a pastische of the year's deaths on CBS Sunday Morning. Sure, Michael Jackson and Ted Kennedy died and maybe you'll remember 2009 for it. Walter Chronkite, too. I was thinking about Jeanne-Claude who with her verve and business acumen created art with Christo. I enjoyed two of the works in person (Wrapped Reichstag and The Gates in Central Park) and wonder if Christo can create that magic again, without her.

The two Christmases we have spent in the condo have been made low-key and even sad by the decline of our parents. Maybe sadder for me than for them even. But at my niece's house there were four young kids and excitement and celebration. And different memories of 2009.

Dazed and Confused

Strange doings on the computers, visitors at Dad's, going to a party on the wrong day, falling behind with chores, looking toward tax season (even Dad dreads it and I do the leg work for him). I haven't exercised enough. I'm in a vortex. I don't think I'll be emerging any time soon. And it's my own fault. Because instead of working assiduously on my computer issues, Dad's ongoing needs, keeping up with things, chores and getting some exercise, what do I do? I find myself messing around with blogs and social media and reading books and papers and working crosswords when some undemanding time arrives.

I'm never going to catch up. I'm never going to feel caught up anyway. Too much guilt. Ah, well, I think I'll cut this entry short and take a walk before we go for a (let's face it tedious) meal at my in-laws.

Best and Worst Presents

I had an impromptu dinner with a friend the other night and said to her: "Oh, there was this great gift I didn't buy you today. It was a Lego Architectural series of the Empire State Building."

"That was a great gift not to get me." She said.

See my friend collects little metal buildings of icons like the Empire State Building, Eiffel Tower, etc. Of course, these days she collects lots less of anything since she, too, moved into a small, downtown condo. And the Lego, though sleek and wonderful-looking was real off topic. (Not a metal souvenir. Something I might like better than she would, etc.) Collections can begat gifts like that. Gifts that are not, in and of themselves, stupid (like Billy Bass, but we aren't going to talk about bad gifts I've received) but just, well, not right for the person at the moment. I'd just given her the idea of the gift, a laugh. We aren't really exchanging gifts this year.

I've written before about gifts...here in the Journal of Unintended Consequences (a dormant blog I intend to revive any day now) and here in this blog about the economics of gifts.

Today I'm just talking about specific things that I remember giving or getting that were especially egregious or particularly wonderful for some reason.

Some wonderful gifts I've given: a laundry basket with pop-up legs; a check to a Junior College for an extension class in loom weaving; and some iPod Touches (this season); a very tiny loose leaf Filofax (in the pre-PDA and Smartphone era); a bunch of Nissan stainless commuter cups. I can't really remember too many others that worked out so well that I gave someone. It was just the right gift at the right time to the right person. Or so it seemed. I'm sure there have been others. And many of the opposite kind.

Some wonderful gifts I've received: many books I wanted or would have if I'd known they'd existed; a Buzz Lightyear room protector; a gadget with a handle that becomes legs to hold tennis ball waist-high and is a wire cage with the wires just far enough apart to compress a tennis ball and let it in and not out.

Some truly awful gifts I've given: a talking bathroom scale; a Melita drip coffee maker; various electronics (answering machine, VCR, etc.) to my in-laws who don't do well with technology. This year, though, they ask for TV ears and FFP bought them, charged them and set them up and it seems to be going over well.

Ah, well, money, gift certificates (although they can be to the wrong place or for the wrong thing) and booze (although, you know, the right booze and for a drinker) always seem to fit.

For a couple of years in the old (big) house, FFP and I would wrap up books for each other...that we found on the shelves in the house. There were often some pleasant surprises.

To say that gift giving is fraught with peril, or was in the days before the very specific on-line wish list, is an understatement. But I do like the look of gaily-wrapped gifts.

[Picture is from 2005 when we still lived in the 'big house.' No tree but a decorated glass and wrought iron table with presents on it.] There is a large, flat present in the foreground. What in the world was in there?]