There's Always Something...

Dad used to say: "There's always something to take the joy out of life." He used to also say: "I've bought a lot of cameras but I never owned one." He didn't buy the digital point and shoot that I used to shoot the Harrah's sign in Vegas (in August) or the computer and software I used to snip it so it just said 'ahs.' But Dad speaks a lot of truth.

I'm listening to my husband moan right now. It isn't anything serious, I hope. Just a digestive upset and some pesky cramps. Still. No joy.

I'm getting ready to go play tennis. I love it, but I sometimes feel it's the only active thing I'm making time for and it shouldn't be. I have to go check on our other house after that. I no longer have to check on Dad, but I still have to check on the property. I'm ready to be done with it. Of course, I still have to settle his affairs and found out that the estate's inventory has to be on file for ten days and my sister has to sign a paper before I can finish up.

I feel OK myself this morning. Although I didn't get enough sleep because I went to bed too late. After going to see "The Nutcracker" and staying after to talk to dancers and walking home, I felt the need to stay up and read papers and watch stupid crime shows. I slept well but I had dreams. There were battles with office supplies and strange court room scenes where everyone was eating sausage.

OK, but troubled in a vague way. That's me. I need to straighten out a bunch of things. I need to find time to write and love the activity. This daily journal is a chore right now. It isn't Holidailies taking the joy out of it. It's something else. Always something.

Nothing Festive About It

Yesterday I was beginning to feel caught up in a non-stop festive sugar plum fairy and birth of the Savior and season of light and Santa fest. Yesterday I wore my red blazer. I went to a reception prior to the matinee performance of Ballet Austin's "Nutcracker" (I'll actually attend the performance Friday night.) The green room was done up with silvery decorations and oversized candy decor from the traveling show. They served hot cider. Nothing more seasonal than that.

I picked up my father and he was wearing a garish Christmas tie. We went to a friend's house where there was wine and a groaning table of food and people singing and playing piano. There was a Hannukah song, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" and such and even a sing-a-long of carols.

Today is shaping up as much more ordinary. Maybe I'll forget the season, the reason, the whole bit for a day. I went to water aerobics at the club pool because my dad was up for it. (That's the class equipment on the pool deck.) This is something we do year-round, weather-permitting, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I exercised a little in the gym afterwards. Our club is really decorated for the holidays, but not in the gym. I didn't go upstairs where there are trees and garlands and candy houses. Dining is closed on Monday anyway.

I'm going to venture out to Costco and I suppose that will be a reminder of the holiday. They are selling giant inflatable yard decorations for one thing. I'm after pretty mundane stuff, though. Shampoo and Cheerios and Ensure. The latter for my in-laws. I may try to score a calendar or something for my mother-in-law as a present. And I'm buying some bubbly for gifts.

But this evening I think I'll watch videos and read about wars and disease and generally put the season aside. Although I might, just might, decide to decorate the inside of the house a little. Or not.