Waiting for....

I hate it when I start feeling that if I can just get this one thing over with then life will be good. Or, actually, multiple things. I know that is stupid. You have to find your joy in the moment. There is always something to get over with.

The fact is that I feel good. And today the only obligations I have are to do things for my immediate family unit and myself. Oh, I may have to fill out paperwork for my dad's day surgery tomorrow. But that's about it. Dad said on the phone this morning. "You get a day off from me. You can work out." In fact, I plan to play tennis and work out. I plan to get our bed linens washed and catch up some of the personal financial stuff that my bookkeeper and friend would do. If she hadn't died. Her memorial service (Saturday) is one of the things I feel I need to get over with. Those celebrations of a life are really a good way to move on. And I'm hoping my dad's day surgery helps him get back to feeling better and not going to the doctor or imaging center several times a week.

Even yesterday, when I spent five hours taking Dad to a doctor and to the imaging center for MRIs and getting him some lunch, I did manage to start work on the financial stuff. And to have a short workout. And to read and watch mindless TV. There was pleasure in my workout, my books and newspapers, in getting some of the stuff figured out.

No, there's no reason to be waiting for Godot or anyone else. Just live. That's how people make it. Like my parents after the war, broke I imagine, and with a child (my sister) you can't see in this picture. They just lived. Tried to make money, get by, love and laugh. My dad couldn't have dreamed he'd be living alone in a house twice as big as he needs, feeling weak and tired but still able to take care of himself, his children well past middle age and his wife gone for several years.